Gibbering Wreck

That's me, that is.

My head is permanently aching at the moment and I've developed a twitching eyelid that just won't keep still. I crawl home shattered, collapsing on the sofa and sleeping instead of doing my marking, but then lie awake half the night staring at the ceiling, with songs running through my head.

Deep joy.

There are a number of reasons, but the major one is probably the one that causes most Infant teachers to become faintly homicidal when faced with tinsel, a tea-towel and a grubby child-sized toweling dressing gown.

The Christmas Production.

Tomorrow is the dress rehearsal in front of the rest of the school, and we're nowhere near ready. It's not a total disaster - they know the songs, they know their words (well, most of them do, anyway), it's just that they can't remember when to stand up or move around. Joseph keeps turning his back on the audience. The kindly innkeeper has clean forgotten his words and now clutches a "Welcome to Bethlehem" visitors' guide with his words pasted on them. The donkey forgets to go on the stage. The angel choir have learnt their song beautifully (and the little Y1 angels have learnt a dance at very short notice) but they haven't learnt their cue, so there is an undignified scramble to get on the stage and deliver God's message to the shepherds. Herod is trying to set the world record for Fastest Delivery of Two Lines. One Wise Man works on his own timescale, so the camels keep setting off to travel around the hall without him. When the shepherds and the Wise Men arrive at the stable at the same time (I know, I know, but for this production they just DO), the shepherds keep having an argy-bargy as they try to get back on the stage (is there such a thing as an Alpha Shepherd?) Meanwhile, their sheep keep wondering past their masking tape line in front of the stage and getting mixed up with the Wise Men's camels, which wouldn't be a problem if they weren't supposed to be facing each other, singing a song to each other about how they are different.

And then half of my Year 2s told me confidently they didn't need another rehearsal, they were pretty good...